A Path

When it comes to deciding my career path, or future in general, I've never been sure of anything. Nothing fit right, and I was never sure of what I would really be happy doing. But I've finally decided what I want to do with my life...or God has finally shown me a path. Since I've recommitted my life to Christ, I've been praying incessantly for Him to show me what to do. "What path do You want me to take? I feel so useless.. use me for whatever You have planned... I submit to Your will." Basically, I've been in neutral for way too long and I'm ready to hit the gas. Trust me, I prayed for patience during all of this. I'm SO impatient. Anyway, it started out where I realized how much I love to tell people about God. Just to give them some insight to how incredible He really is. I asked my sister one day, "Do you ever think about God? Just in your daily life?" She replied with "Not really." But I could tell it made her think. A few days later she mentioned thinking of Him while she was at work one day. It made me so happy to hear that! It's a start, right?! A lot of the time when I have conversations about Jesus I get "yeah.." but knowing that I at least put the thought in their minds which creates the possibility of it coming up later just warms my heart! I would love to be able to help people through their issues by using God's Word and Love. I knew that it would be very important for me to truly study the Bible. And going to school would do just that. So I started looking at bible colleges and eventually found a pre-counseling program at one of them. That's when it hit me. Yes, I've always loved to write, and I hope to continue blogging and moving someone closer to God on a daily basis. But what if I could experience that first hand? To see God's Love pour into someone's soul and bring them out of whatever is holding them down. It would be my greatest joy to have God's Love speak through me every day, knowing that I'm doing what He created me to. So I've decided to pursue a career in counseling (psychology) and biblical studies. I'm hoping to be a church counselor or even a counselor at a private school. I just want to be able to spread His love and bring people closer to Him. The school I'm hoping to attend is quite expensive and I'm hoping to get some sort of scholarship funds. So if any of you know of any grants, scholarships, or just have advice, PLEASE let me know! I pray that God speaks through one of you to help me out! I'd appreciate prayers while I go through this process. Nothing is guaranteed, but I pray that if this is truly in God's will for me, everything will fall into place.

I'm Not A Judge

I've been feeling weird lately. Almost..disconnected. It makes me sad, and I know that it has to be ME. He's always pursuing me, always waiting. So where am I going wrong? Is it because I didn't read my bible yesterday? Am I spending too much time with friends? I must be too consumed by the world? Then I realized that I judge myself. Too much. To the point that I never feel worthy. I'm not good enough for anything, including heaven. I hate that. It sucks the life out of me. No one wants to be judged, no one SHOULD be judged. Yet here I am picking myself apart. I can't do that, though. He doesn't want that from me. I have to accept that I don't decide my destiny. He does. And I know how loving He is, how forgiving He is. I have to rest in that, or I'll never be happy. I can't forget who HE is while trying to be who He wants me to be. I can't worry about being a sinner. Because no matter how hard I try, it happens. But I do my best. And I just have to have faith in His Grace, and hope that I'm worthy in His eyes.

Stream of Consciousness

Almost every time I read Paul's letters, whether to the Corinthians, Thessalonians, or Philippians, I am so moved. I learn so much from him and he's one of my favorite people from the bible. I love the fact that he was a man who was overtaken by the grace of God, and completely turned his life around. From a blasphemer to an apostle. He strived to live his life like Jesus. The way he speaks wisdom and inspiration is incredible and because of his scriptures I can understand God's love so much clearer. (Phillipians 2:1-11) HUMILITY is a problem in today's society. It's easy to be 'right' and unwilling to accept change. The truth is, no one but God knows best. And even He was humble enough to give up His Son. The saddest part is He did it to save us, yet we choose to forget that. We live our lives in a way that contradicts Jesus's life. Why? He was completely PERFECT. We should be striving to be JUST like Him. And if the most powerful being in all the universe is humble enough to be a human, a servant, and DIE, shouldn't we be humble enough to let God be exalted the way he deserves? Imagine if everyone on earth strived to be like Jesus. Our world would be the most loving, compassionate, generous place to be. It wouldn't be perfect, but what if everyone tried? No greed, violence, or anger. We would all learn forgiveness and let go of things that aren't worth fretting over. How is it that people see Christianity as a bad thing. That we "judge" and want to ruin people's fun? NO. That's completely opposite of what Jesus stood for..and it's sad that somewhere along the way the world was taught that. Because Jesus is our only form of Peace. 

For You

Another poem.

There's a pain in my heart that I cannot explain, knowing if I pray I'll experience the change. I have faith in Your love, Your will, Your grace,  but I need faith in myself to glorify Your name. Teach me who I am so I can show them who You are, I can't find my path without You speaking to my heart. It would be my greatest joy to bring the world to You, show them Your ways, show them the Truth.  So give me the strength to follow your Word and when the time comes let my voice be heard. I want to shout Your name, bring the people to their knees. Once they know Your grace, their souls will be redeemed.