Love and Things

Being that I'm 21 now, newly single, and have so much life ahead of me, my perspective on how to live has changed drastically. Yes, I'm newly single. Am I heartbroken? Well..yes. To a point. I was completely in love with this man. We had so much in common, there was so much passion in our relationship. I mean, we were going to get married. But at the end of the day, he was uncertain about what he truly wanted out of life. And to be honest, I was, too. He was always talking about starting a family, but I wasn't ready. However, I also wasn't ready to go to school yet either. So if I wasn't ready for a family and not ready for a career, what am I doing? At the end of our relationship, we both realized how we were clearly going in the wrong directions. Yes, we were very in love with each other. But we didn't include God in our lives hardly at all. At times, it was mentioned. But we never fully committed to Him. So when we reached that point, we both changed. While he made changes that I didn't feel were necessary, he was telling me I was wrong for choosing my lifestyle. God was telling him one thing to do with his life, and telling me another. And that's when we realized we just aren't right for each other. It just doesn't seem that God has a path for the both of us. Yes, it's heartbreaking. To know that you can't be together because of the right reasons is as hard as knowing you're breaking up for the worst reasons. That being said, I can trust in God's plan for me. No, it may not be what I expect or "want", but God knows what's best for me outside of anything I could ever want from this world. My relationship and friendship with Vik has taught me so much. Not only about love, but about my faith and relationship with God. Above all else, that has been the most important thing he could have ever given me. He opened my eyes to so much, and for that I am so grateful.

It's crazy to realize how different peoples' relationships with God can be. But think about it, people fall in love with each other in all sorts of ways, just like how people fall in love with God in different ways. Ultimately, it all falls back on the same reasons, but how we show our love is interchangeable. While Vik felt he needed to show his love by giving up everything in his life and focusing only on God, I chose to live my life, but include Him, and praise Him in whatever I do. Are either of us right or wrong? No. We just all have our own ways of praising the Lord, and that's all He wants. Your LOVE. So even if you aren't called to sell your television, or give up music, just remember to praise Him for all the things He's blessed you with. And yes, choose your bible over your movies..that's been my biggest change. Learning about His love and grace has been so life changing, and those are experiences you will NEVER get from a movie. Think about it, try it. You'll be surprised how much deeper you can love a man whose voice you've never heard, whose face you've never seen. But you know Him to the core, simply by reading about His life and realizing how much He loves you. Knowing He's with me always is so comforting. And learning to trust Him with every aspect of my life is incredible. I know He only wants what's best for me..and for that, I can sleep soundly(alone) every night. :)